The Soil Holds the Story

How Deep Patterns Become Fertile Ground for Change

🌿 If Clarity Is the New Hustle was about slowing down long enough to hear your truth, The Soil Holds the Story is what happens when you’re finally quiet enough to feel it take root.

Let me tell you a story. Not a neat one. One you dig for — complete with dirt under the fingernails, the ache of bending over a stubborn patch, and the hope that something new might sprout if you stay present long enough.

I missed a meeting. Not just any meeting — one that could’ve changed everything. A meeting I was excited about, honored to be invited to, and one I had prepared for with intention and joy. A meeting I wanted deeply.

And still, I missed it.

Not because I was careless. But because I hit the invisible edge of a pattern I didn’t even know I was repeating, a loop buried so deep, it only surfaced when I was finally close to something that felt like expansion. The kind that would break the surface and bloom.

My nervous system shut down.

My calendar blurred. Time got slippery. And just like that, I had sabotaged something beautiful. Something aligned.

That day, I opened my journal and started writing. Not the usual reflections. I was digging. Excavating. Turning the soil of my inner world. What came out wasn’t a tidy list of next steps, it was compost. Truths half-decayed and still clinging to false beliefs. Grief I hadn’t fully felt. Patterns I thought I had already outgrown, but that were still there, tangled like roots.

What I found in that soil:

• There’s a difference between expanding and overextending. I had confused doing more with growing. But real growth — the kind that lasts — needs air, light, and space. It needs time underground before it breaks through.

• Burnout wasn’t the enemy. It had been a boundary. A (very loud) whisper from my body saying: “This way isn’t working.” Like a plant wilting in soil that’s too dry or too crowded, I needed to repot.

• Self-sabotage wasn’t self-hate. It was self-protection. Old wiring trying to keep me safe from a new level of visibility I didn’t fully trust myself to hold.

• My core values are my compass. When the noise of shame and spiraling gets loud, I’ve learned to return to what I know is true: connection, creativity, clarity, and compassion. These are the roots that keep me grounded.

• False beliefs hide in plain sight. Mine sounded like: “You’re not ready. You always mess it up. Don’t be too much.” And they were dictating decisions I thought I was making consciously.

What grew from that messy journaling session wasn’t a plan,
it was presence.

I met myself in a place I usually avoid. The place between knowing and becoming. The fertile pause before the next brave bloom.

This is the messy middle of Creative Adaptive Intelligence. The place where you can’t mindset your way out of discomfort. Where you must root down before you rise up.

The soil holds the story. And if you’ve been feeling like you’re stuck, spiraling, or suddenly scared of what you said you wanted, maybe you’re not broken.

Maybe you’re breaking open.

So take a breath. Be gentle with your roots. And trust: even the missed moments are compost for what’s coming next. 🌿

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Dig Into the Soil: A Journaling Companion to 'The Soil Holds the Story'

This guided journaling tool is designed to help you explore the unseen patterns, beliefs, and protective mechanisms that may be influencing your ability to grow into the vision you deeply desire. It’s a companion to Jenn Ocken’s essay 'The Soil Holds the Story,' which dives into the fertile, messy middle of Creative Adaptive Intelligence.

In his book *The Big Leap*, Gay Hendricks introduces the concept of the 'Upper Limit Problem'—the idea that we each have an internal thermostat setting for how much success, love, and joy we believe we can handle. When we exceed this limit, often unconsciously, we do something to sabotage our progress. This tool invites you to gently and courageously uncover those limits.

🌿 Trace the Trigger

Think of a recent moment when you missed, avoided, or froze in the face of something you genuinely wanted. Let yourself sit with it.

• What happened?
• What were you feeling before, during, and after?
• What were you afraid might happen if it went well?

🌿 Listen to the Soil

Write freely for 10–15 minutes about the beliefs that surfaced in that moment. Don’t filter. Just write.

• What were you telling yourself?
• Do these beliefs sound familiar?
• Whose voice do they sound like?
• Are they true? Are they kind?

🌿 Notice the Pattern

Look for repetition. Have you felt or reacted this way before?

• What does this remind you of?
• What’s the cost of this pattern?
• What has it protected you from?
• What has it prevented you from becoming?

🌿 Root Down in Truth

Reconnect to your core values.

• What do you know is true about you?
• What values guide your best decisions?
• What support do you need to expand safely?
• What can you let go of that no longer serves your next season?

🌿 Close with Compassion

Write a few words to the version of you who spiraled, froze, or sabotaged.

• What does that version of you need to hear?
• How can you thank them for trying to keep you safe?
• What would it sound like to forgive them?

Remember, even missed moments are compost. Let your roots deepen. Growth is already happening.