When Reasoning Becomes an Excuse
Navigating From Denial to Direction
Things take time to birth. Ideas. Projects. Courses. Creative callings. Even the ones we know are aligned. Even the ones we say we’re ready for. So why do we hesitate, delay, or talk ourselves out of the very thing we claimed we wanted?
Here’s a gentle truth I’ve had to sit with:
There’s reasoning that aligns with your values and then there’s reasoning that justifies your delay.
And here’s where it gets really honest: sometimes, we use beautiful, logical, thoughtful reasoning… to stay stuck.
The Quiet Layers of Denial
In the early 2000s, sociologist Stanley Cohen named three types of denial:
Literal Denial – rejecting the facts outright.
Interpretive Denial – acknowledging the facts but distorting or minimizing their meaning.
Implicatory Denial – accepting both the facts and their meaning… but dodging the emotional, moral, or practical implications.
That last one? It’s the sneaky one. The one that shows up as “I know, but…” or “I care, but I can’t right now.” It lets us keep our values on display without having to follow them through.
We aren’t denying reality—we’re just softly looking away from what reality asks of us.
It’s the creative calling you delay because you “just need to get organized first.” It’s the project you postpone because it “feels too big.” It’s the workshop you don’t sign up for because “the timing isn’t right” even though you felt it in your gut when you first saw it.
Implicatory denial doesn’t make you a liar. It makes you human. And it gives you an incredible opportunity:
The moment you name it, you can shift it.
Reasoning or Excuse?
Not all reasons are excuses. But every excuse is a reason that’s trying to protect you from discomfort. From uncertainty. From change.
There’s a big difference between saying:
“I’m pausing because this isn’t aligned.”
vs.“I’m pausing because I’m afraid it might be… and that scares me.”
Not all resistance is bad but it is always informative.
This is why I created The Creative Return. It’s not just a space for tools—it’s a space for truth. A place to notice when I’m holding back. A container where my ideas can incubate without shame. A home for the parts of me that want to move forward and the parts that are afraid.
And yes, it’s also where I collect my tools in one place, because organization is a love language too.
A Way Through
Creative Adaptive Intelligence (CAI) isn’t here to fix you. It’s here to help you meet yourself honestly. It gives you language, practices, and perspectives that move with your resistance instead of pushing against it.
You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin.
You can be overwhelmed and still take one aligned action.
You can acknowledge fear and still trust your creative capacity.
CAI doesn’t judge denial.
It invites you to dance with it,
understand it, and gently surpass it.
Walking Yourself Home
Implicatory denial often keeps us in analysis, avoidance, or overdoing.
The C.A.L.M. Framework helps us return to our center:
Clarity: Name what’s real. Even if it’s messy.
Adaptability: Shift your posture, not just your plan.
Leadership: Choose aligned action—not to impress, but to express.
Momentum: Let one tiny move be enough for today.
Denial softens when met with gentle yet firm intention. It melts when we allow ourselves to show up honestly, one step at a time.
From Comfort to Courage
Notice the reasons you’re holding onto. Ask yourself:
"Is this aligned with my values—or is this just comfortable?”
If it’s truly aligned, bless it. Honor your pace. If it’s just comfortable, and you know you’re ready to grow… come find me in The Creative Return.
Sustainable action begins the moment we’re willing to look honestly at where we’re holding back and lovingly move forward anyway.
You don’t have to push. You don’t have to prove. You just have to be willing to peek behind the pause. Something real might be waiting there.
Ready to Go Deeper?
Join The Creative Return
This essay was just the beginning. The Creative Return is your customizable, self-guided practice space to move beyond insight into aligned action. Inside, you’ll find:
The Implicatory Denial Quiz to help you name what you’ve been avoiding
The Priority Checklist and ThrivFOCUS tools to get clear on what matters now
The Acceptance Bridge and C.A.L.M. Framework practices to help you return to motion on your terms
It’s not a course. It’s a creative container for clarity, adaptability, leadership, and momentum designed to meet you exactly where you are.
Join The Creative Return now and start moving forward from a place of truth, not pressure.
