Turning Fear Into Your Liberation: Reclaiming Your Rhythm
There was a season in my life when my skin, my body, and my bank account were all screaming the same thing:
“You are not listening, Jenn.”
But I was busy.
Busy being helpful.
Busy being nice.
Busy trying to prove my worth.
Busy convincing myself that if I just gave a little more, charged a little less, or became friends with everyone… then maybe I’d be liked enough to stay needed, seen and feel valuable.
What I didn’t realize at the time is that I wasn’t just giving discounts. I was discounting myself in so many ways!
And my body? She was my mirror long before I stood in front of one on purpose to really see me.
There was stress acne that refused to clear. Weight that I would lose just to gain back again—like some sort of unconscious barter system where I was trading my well-being for validation.
Looking back, I blamed it on stress eating, bad genetics or a bad relationship with my mother, depending on the day and our conversations.
Is his is just how it is when you’re an entrepreneur?
… stressed as my body takes the beating.
But the deeper truth?
I was setting myself up to be liked so I wouldn’t have to charge full price. Here me out…
If we were friends, if I made you feel close, maybe you’d appreciate me enough to not make me ask for my worth. A friendship and being seen was so valuable to me that I was able to ignore the fact I wasnt charging enough. That was an eye opener that hit my in the center of my heart!
It was never really about the skin or the scale. Those became the ways I unconsciously tried to stay relatable, like if I could visibly struggle,
I’d be more lovable, more approachable,
more worthy of connection.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had internalized a belief that something about me had to be “off” or “fixable” in order to be valuable. Sure, I bought the products and tried the programs, but underneath all of it, I was trying to earn love by being seen as someone who needed saving as I was looking for connection.
That was how I learned to receive value.
And if I’m being completely honest, it was all rooted in my fear of fully standing in my own.
Your Body Will Tell the Truth Before You Do
When I was undercharging, overdelivering, and tiptoeing around asking for what I needed, my body started waving red flags like she was on a rescue mission.
I wasn’t just tired—I was depleted.
I wasn’t just inflamed—I was burning out.
Every conversation, every yes I didn’t mean, every discount I didn’t want to give but couldn’t say no to was showing up on my skin, in my energy, and in my emotions.
This wasn’t just stress. This was my nervous system begging for honesty. I was burning through my boundaries.
Mirror Work: Becoming Your Own Hype Person
Somewhere along the way, I discovered mirror work. Not the kind where you analyze every pore or check your teeth one last time. I mean intentional mirror work.
Being your own hype person. Talking to yourself in the mirror like someone who actually wants to see you win, asking your ego to be your ride or die! Because they are not going anywhere.
It started awkward, of course. Just try telling your reflection “You are worthy of being seen and paid well” while brushing your teeth and not laugh a little.
It feels weird—because it’s unfamiliar.
But that’s the point. If no one taught you how to speak to yourself with love and power, then of course it feels foreign. And now, it’s your responsibility to recondition your ego over time. I know and trust that you can do it, and I ask you to be patient with yourself. If you’re inconsistent at first, I invite you to simply start again. And again. And again. Even again. The commitment to starting again is as, if not more, important than any perfection in the consistency to the commitment.
The ego isn’t bad—it’s just loud.
And mirror work is how we teach your ego to become a messenger instead of a megaphone.
Some mornings I whisper. Some nights I roar.
But I keep showing up. And slowly and powerfully the me in my reflection has started to shift.
Not because my skin cleared or my weight stabilized, but because I started recognizing myself. I started feeling better and having more energy. I released that being kind to myself takes a lot less energy. It actually energizes and motivates me more than any negative self-doubt or fear-based conditioning ever could.
And let me tell you: when you become someone who cheers for yourself, you glow differently.
Conditioning Takes Time. So Will the Undoing.
Listen, fear-based conditioning didn’t happen overnight. It got layered on through childhood stories, cultural narratives, and inherited beliefs from people who meant well but were struggling too. We picked up false beliefs about success, money, likability, power, and our place in the world. But here’s the thing:
If you want something different, you have to approach conditioning yourself differently.
That takes:
Practice, not perfection.
Compassion, not critique.
Consistency, not drama.
Sometimes, change comes fast and bold. But more often, it comes quietly… like realizing you didn’t spiral after saying “no” or noticing your shoulders didn’t tighten during a pricing conversation, or waking up with a sense of peace instead of panic.
That’s the glow of liberation.
It’s not always glamorous, but it’s real.
Reflection Is Your Portal to Power
Everything in your life is giving you feedback.
The people around you.
Your mood at 3pm.
Your emotions after a client call.
The conversations that drain you—or energize you.
Even the way your body responds to how you spend your time.
This is what I mean by creative adaptive intelligence: learning to see your reflections and choose what to do with them.
Instead of judging your fear or trying to silence it, try asking:
What is this showing me?
What is this moment trying to teach me?
What truth is ready to rise?
Sometimes fear shows up like a shouting coach, and sometimes like a nonchalant tugs on your shirt sleeve. Both are valid. Both are messengers.
You don’t have to shame your way to transformation.
